


In good hands

by ao_no_uma



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Chronic Pain, Explicit Sexual Content, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, PTSD, Scars, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, conflicted feelings, massage therapist!Chirrut, spiritassasin, veteran!Baze
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-01-16 22:03:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12351444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ao_no_uma/pseuds/ao_no_uma
Summary: Baze returned from the war with scars on his body and mind, and constant back ache. Searching for pain relief, he’s recommended the miraculous therapist Chirrut Îmwe.





	1. First

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, my very first modern au!
> 
> The fic is already halfway done, so I'll attempt to post every week.

Baze looked at the number on the building’s wall, then at the small square of paper in his hand with the written address. It was identical. The plate on the door confirmed he was in the right place.

Baze walked into the small lobby. There were only two chairs and the reception desk with the young woman sitting behind it, busy reading the book. When she saw the newcomer she set the book aside.

‘Hello. Can I help you?’ she smiled friendly at him.

Baze stepped closer to the desk. ‘I have an appointment. I phoned yesterday.’

‘Ah, right, I remember. Is it your first visit? Then you need to fill the form. Please answer truthfully, then sign in the bottom.’

She passed him a sheet of paper and a pen. The paper was filled with numerous questions about various health issues, beginning with skin lesions and ending with cardiovascular problems. Baze answered them all and passed the form back to the girl. She checked the answers.

‘Everything’s fine. We need to know your condition allow you to participate’ she explained with another smile. She pointed at the door on her right. ‘The office’s there. On your left will be a bench for your personal belongings. Please strip off to the underwear, then lie on the table in the center on your stomach. If you feel uncomfortable with being undressed, on the bench will be a towel for you to cover yourself with it. Mr. Îmwe will join you in a minute.’

Baze thanked her and went to the adjoining room. It looked just as she had described it: on the left was the bench with a white folded towel, in the middle was the massage table, and on the right were cabinets and another door.

Baze efficiently shed his clothes until he was only in his briefs. He folded them and piled on the bench in the way he had been taught back in the military school. He picked up the towel and went to the table. He had no problem with nudity; after years of serving in the army and then two years of being consulted and tested by the dozens of specialists, he was used to being touched and watched while being naked, but he didn’t want to be seen as indecent. He lied on the table and threw the towel over his hips and upper thighs.

He had just made himself comfortable on the hard surface of the table when through the door on his right came in a tall Asian in pale blue scrubs. Baze’s gaze glided over his friendly face, slim frame and muscular bare arms.

‘Mr. Baze Malbus, right? Hello, I’m Chirut Îmwe, you can call me Chirrut’ he introduced himself with impossibly wide toothy grin that brought Baze’s attention to man’s milky eyes.

Saw had forgotten to mention the therapist was blind.

Something about it perturbed Baze. Maybe the fact hadn’t meet the blind physical therapist yet, though he heard massage therapist was a popular occupation for the blind people.

Chirrut stopped next to the cabinet, where Baze could still see him without raising himself, and leant back against its edge. ‘Do you mind me standing here?’

Baze denied.

‘Did you fill the survey at the reception? I have a few more questions. What brings you to me, Mr. Malbus?’

‘Call me Baze. I had a problem with my back.’ Baze took a deep breath and repeated the same words he had said to every previous therapist, ‘I was injured on the mission two years ago. Since then I have the constant back pain. I was treated by neurologists and physical therapists with no effect. The doctor suggested less conventional methods like a massage. I was about to give up when my friend recommended your practice after you helped him with phantom pain after he’s lost his leg.’

‘Ah, Mr. Gerrera? Has his pain receded? Good to hear that. So, your back. What kind of pain is it? Where is it located?’

‘It’s like a constant throbbing, a little sharper when I move. It’s the strongest on the both side of the spine and spreads to the rest of back.’

‘Is the pain stronger when you’re in a certain position, or when you’re performing certain actions?’

‘No. I mean, sometimes it’s worse, but it doesn’t depend on what I’m doing in that moment.’

‘You mentioned you’ve already participated in physical therapy sessions. Did it help?’

‘It was always better for the first two-three sessions, and then returned to previous state. I’m considered a hopeless case, but when I heard you helped Saw, I though it’s worth a shot.’

‘Alright. I’ll take a look at your back now.’

Chirrut surely stepped to the table. His hand gingerly found Baze’s shoulder and moved further until it found the dip of the spine. His other hand joined in and both hands followed the plain of Baze’s wide back. They moved down along the spine until it found the hem of his underwear, fingertips brushing the constellation of scattered scars, catching at raised puckered skin.

‘May I ask how did it happen?’ Chirrut asked softly.

‘A land mine. The doctors swore they have removed all of the shrapnel pieces and the nerves aren’t damaged. They are not even sure why does it still hurt.’

Chirrut pressed the flat of his hand to Baze’s back, then dug his fingers in the flesh. Baze grunted at the unexpected jolt of pain.  

‘Did it hurt?’

‘A bit.’

‘It’s so because your muscles are very tense. Alright, let’s start. I’ll do my best to help you, Baze.’

Chirrut turned back to the cupboard. He picked up a bottle from its inside, checking the label written in Braille first. He squeezed a deliberate amount of gel on his palm and set the bottle down on the countertop.

‘You probably heard it many times but I’m obliged to say it. It will hurt a little, and it’s supposed to do. Tell me if hurt too much’ Chirrut said as he returned to the table and massaged the gel between his palms. ‘Please relax.’

The gel was lukewarm, a little colder than Baze’s skin but not unpleasantly. Chirrut spread it all over patient’s back and proceeded to the massage.  

His long slim hands began with rubbing the skin up and down along the spine, moving in big ellipses. They moved very slow at first, acquainting with shape of Baze’s back, then sped up. Fingers and heels of hands kneaded with the increase pressure, trailing vertebraes and muscles, working out the sore points underneath the scarred skin.

Baze quickly drifted away. He was used to the strangers attending his body during more or less comfortable procedures, and Chirrut’s doing was definitely pleasant.

There was some pain that was followed with the warmth slowly spreading in muscles and bones, easing the pain. Baze felt himself slackening under the expert touch, as the ever-present ache gradually subsided.

He winced when those wonderful hands disappeared from his skin.

‘What’s happening?’ he asked with a little, embarrassingly sleepy slur.

‘It’s been over half an hour. It’s enough for the first time’ Chirrut explained with a smile. ‘How do you feel?’

Baze forced his sleepy brain to consider, and sighed. The pain was almost gone. He always felt better after the first massage sessions, but it had never been _that_ good.

‘It’s definitely better than before we started.’

‘That’s good to hear! But I take a guess you heard it every previous time, and in the end it didn’t work, huh? From my own experience I’d expect permanent effects around the tenth visit. For the best result you should come around once a week. Is it fine, can you afford it?’

‘Yeah, it’s okay.’

Chirrut gave him one more grin.

‘That will be all for today. Please stay lying for another couple of minutes. Then you may dress and leave. Have a nice day, Baze.’

Chirrut washed his hands and left through the same door he entered. Like he was ordered to, Baze lied for a while, savouring the relief Chirrut’s hands had given him. The gel had dried from his skin, leaving the weird sensation of crusted layer on his back. He would need to take another shower when he got back home.

The girl at the reception was still reading when he left the office. He could now spot the title on the cover, Sun Tzu’s “The art of war”. She put it down when she saw Baze by the desk.

‘How was it?’ she asked politely.

‘Very good, thanks. I’d like to book the next visit.’

‘Sure!’

She picked up the calendar book and checked for the free date.

‘Next week, the same day and hour?’

‘Fine.’

‘See you next time’ she gave him a final smile and returned to the book.

On the way to the bus stop Baze felt oddly light. His gait was involuntarily faster and more bouncy.

In his heart sprouted the hope that this time, the therapy would finally work.


	2. Second

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested, I have [tumblr](https://ao-no-uma.tumblr.com) but I don't post much there

Baze liked his job. Working as IT technician for advertising company was completely different from the army, but provided what he needed now - the stabile job in the downtown with the fixed working hours. He did what he liked - Baze had always liked working with computers. He was good with them, good enough he had gotten the scholarship of military college and later the rank in the army. He earned enough to pay for the meds, visits in clinics and therapies. He spent time among people and got a minimum of social interactions.

And what perhaps was the most important, he had no problem with taking a few days off when he had the episode and needed to stay at home until it wore off.  

Baze shared the office with the other tech, Bodhi. Bodhi was about a decade younger than Baze, yet skillful enough he could deal with the duties of the both of them when Baze was off. Baze liked working with him; he was skittish, but diligent and calm, and had no problem with Baze being silent for hours.

‘How's this new therapist?’ Bodhi asked casually the day after the massage session. He knew about Baze’s past and the accident. He expressed genuine concern about colleague’s wellbeing and his progress in the therapy. He had even borrowed Baze the antidepressant when he had forgotten his own.

In contrary, Bodhi never spoke about his past, and Baze didn’t nag him. Considering the meds he took and regular visits to counsellor, Baze supposed it was something Bodhi didn’t want to talk about.

‘Saw was right. That guy is a miracle worker’ Baze answered with a small smile. Even on the next day the pain remained weaker than usual and he was in a good mood.

‘That good?’

‘Yes, that good. I haven’t felt that good since I was on morphine in the hospital.’

For a few minutes they worked in silence, then Bodhi spoke again, ‘Is he handsome?’

Baze coughed and stopped typing. He glanced over the monitor, making sure his blushing cheeks were hidden from the view of Bodhi sitting by his desk across from Baze’s workplace.

‘Does it matter? All I care for is his hands and his skill’ he grumbled with fake anger in reply.

‘Every previous time I heard a thorough description of your therapists. How did they look, how did they work, did they babble for the whole session. Now you are silent. I suppose it means something.’

Baze frowned and pursed his lips into a thin line. Bodhi wiggled his brows. It looked so ridiculous Baze couldn’t help and burst into laughter.

‘Yes, he’s handsome, but it makes no difference. He’s my therapist. I pay him for touching me. Hitting on him would be awkward.’

Bodhi chuckled. ‘Okay, okay, I’m just teasing you. Of course you’d never hit on your therapist.’

Baze huffed and resumed typing. He added with low voice, ‘And I bet he has a wife and three children.’

‘See if he has the ring’ Bodhi gave him a one more grin and turned back to his own screen.

His words still rang in Baze’s head. Alright, from what he remembered, Chirrut was handsome. But at the same time Chirrut was the only person able to alleviate Baze’s pain. No matter how attractive Chirrut was, Baze couldn’t afford hitting on him. If Chirrut was gay at all.

*          *

The reception girl welcomed Baze with a smile. This time she was reading something else that looked like a textbook, with a highlighter in her hand. She pointed at the office’s door with head, indicating he could come in.

Baze stripped off and tied his hair in a bun at the back of his head. He glanced at the neat white square of the towel, and after a moment of consideration he stepped to the table, leaving the towel on the bench.

This time he waited for Chirrut much longer. He wondered if he should have called him when the therapist finally emerged from the backroom, rubbing the antiseptic in the skin of his hands.

‘Sorry, I had an important call’ he said instead of greeting. ‘Baze, I remember correctly?’

‘Yes’ Baze allowed himself a smile Chirrut wouldn’t see either.

He peeked over his arm at the therapist rummaging in the cupboard in search for the gel bottle. He noted Chirrut had a very nice profile. The muscles of his shoulders and chest defined themselves under the pale blue shirt. Bicep rippled beneath the skin with every move. And the fabric of his trousers stretched deliciously over the supple ass.

Baze’s cheeks flushed with heat. He turned his gaze away, cursing Bodhi in his mind. He would have never paid Chirrut so much attention if not colleague’s words.

When Chirrut stood up with the bottle in his hand, Baze noticed no ring on his fingers, which was obvious with his job. While he was leant forward from under his shirt slipped out a golden pendant on a thin leather strap. It didn’t quite look like a wedding gift. Chirrut tucked it back under the shirt so it wouldn’t bother when he performed the massage.

Chirrut finally turned to his patient with a usual kind smile. He asked politely, ‘How were you after the last time Baze?’

‘Good. Very good. I felt better for whole two days. It never lasted so long’ Baze said. It was true. No one had done to him what Chirrut had done.

Chirrut gave him that wide grin, as bright as the sun.

‘Oh, it’s so good to hear! Let’s hope it will stay like that.’

Without further delay Chirrut started the work. Just like the previous time he began with gentle rubbing, then moved to more energetic exercises. Baze quickly drifted into semi-consciousness and enjoyed Chirrut’s touch that slowly turned him into a puddle.

He had a problem. He couldn’t stop thinking about tiny crinkles forming around Chirrut’s eyes when he smiled.


	3. Third

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: the part below asterisks is nsfw

Baze was surprised to see the reception girl had a guest. By the desk, leaning forward to be face-to-face with her, stood a young man about her age. They chatted cheerfully with hushed voices. The girl giggled. Baze wondered if he should have interrupted them or waited until they finished.

The girl had finally noticed him and blushed, flustered by negligence she had shown to the client.

‘Oh, Mr. Malbus, hello! You’re early today. Mr. Îmwe is curently occupied, you have to wait for a moment.’

Baze grunted in acknowledgement and took the farthest seat from the desk and the couple. He tried not to listen, but the heard scraps of their silent conversation anyway. They talked about her classes, groceries and upcoming dinner with her parents. Baze finally learnt that her name was Jyn.

From the office went out another patient, a short elder woman. Baze felt an involuntary prickle of jealousy at the thought of Chirrut treating other people in the same, almost intimate way he treated Baze. Baze scolded himself in mind. It was Chirrut’s job to touch people. He wasn’t exclusively Baze’s.

What was happening to him, that he had such thoughts?

The door opened again and Baze saw head and torso of the therapist.

‘Oh, hello Cassian. Jyn, when the next patient comes tell them to enter’ Chirrut said.

‘Actually Mr. Malbus is already waiting’ Jyn replied.

Chirrut cocked his head to where Baze was sitting, like he had just noticed his presence. ‘Then come in Baze!’

Baze followed him inside the office and stepped to the corner with bench, with his back turned on Chirrut.

‘I’ll give you a moment to prepare yourself’ Chirrut said, crossing the room toward the other door.

‘No, no need to’ Baze cut in hastily. He was already taking his clothes off. He peeked back over his shoulder. Chirrut seemed a little surprised by Baze’s frankness but quickly got over it and went to the cupboard to pick up the essentials.

Baze supposed on the third visit he should have been used to Chirrut’s touch. But it still felt so new, so incredible as on the first time. Perhaps it was just impossible to get used to this touch, the touch that took the pain away and brought Baze back to normal.

‘Baze’ gentle voice drew Baze’s wandering attention.

The only answer Baze was able to produce in that moment was incoherent “Hmm?’.

‘I was thinking about your case…’

Baze’s brain short-circuited at the “I was thinking about you” part  and he barely registered the rest of the sentence.

‘- Have you tried yoga?’

‘Yeah, I tried. Wasn’t very helpful.’

‘Maybe you practiced for too short?’

‘Three months, with qualified instructor.’

Chirrut hummed and fell silent. Baze wished he spoke again. He desperately needed something grounding right now, or he would drift away with pleasure and warmth overtaking his senses…

He surrendered to the sensations, let these hands mould the yielding flesh, knead out the pain…

But the hands abandoned him and this time Baze actually groaned. He looked up and saw Chirrut above him, chuckling softly.

‘It’s enough for today, but we still have some time left. Would you like me to attend your arms and legs?’ he asked.

Baze agreed, hazy with the lack of pain. Chirrut stepped back to grab the bottle from the counter and squeezed more gel onto his palm. He smeared it gently over Baze’s shoulders and neck.

‘You tie your hair?’ he asked genuinely surprised when his fingers brushed over the hairline and felt tresses drawn up into a bun.

‘Yes, so it won’t bother you.’

‘Is it long?’

_He has never seen me_ , the sudden thought struck Baze. He was embarrassed he hadn’t realized it earlier. Chirrut was only acquainted with Baze’s back, maybe deducted his height and body-built. But the rest of Baze’s physique was a mystery to him.

‘Yes, it’s past my shoulders.’

Chirrut whistled through his teeth. ‘That’s unexpected.’

Baze wanted to ask what he expected then, but Chirrut’s thumbs pressed the spot at the base of his skull and Baze _moaned_ when the sudden searing bolt pierced his core and limbs, all the way to the fingertips, leaving the tingling in its wake.

Baze could sense Chirrut smiling. Before he said anything the thumbs moved again in small circles around that spot and the spine. Baze slackened like a ragdoll and laid his head down. His breath came out with a small sound. He burnt with humiliation, especially when he remembered in the lounge were two young people cooing to each other that might have overheard him. But it was good, so good, setting his nerves on fire, vibrating in every centimeter of his body…

And then the hands slid down to treat his shoulders. Baze bit his tongue to not whine. His skin still throbbed. He evened and silenced his breathing to not embarrass himself further.

He tilted his head but he got only a glimpse of Chirrut’s face. He was relaxed, with closed eyes and a minute smile curving his lips.

The therapist followed to the right arm. Baze didn’t even knew the muscles there needed attention. After the accident he had been forbidden lifting heavy objects. And yet Chirrut’s fingertips found knots that needed working out. The other arm received the same treatment.

Chirrut reached again for the gel bottle and stepped to stand by Baze’s knees. He swept his hands over patient’s legs to know their shape, then began the massage, starting from right ankle and moving up to the hip.

Baze forced himself to relax, focused on the steady sound of Chirrut’s breaths. This part of his body wasn’t attended in a long time and he didn’t want to shame himself with jumping under Chirrut’s hands.

But as the fingers slid up Baze’s uneasiness grew. Hands didn’t came any near his ass, but the touch felt somehow very intimate, with the way Chirrut was caressing his thighs with slow, measured rubs.

The therapist must have noticed the change in Baze and moved to the other leg. Baze could still feel patterns the hands marked on his skin, and new sparks were continuously kindled under the expert touch.

Despite the last part had distressed him, Baze regretted it when Chirrut announced they were finished for today. Still lying on the table, he watched Chirrut washing his hands and putting the bottle back into the cupboard He couldn’t help his mind being invaded by stray thoughts of therapist’s perfect body.

*          *

Baze moaned when the spray of hot water hit his back. In his bathroom, under his shower, he allowed himself to be noisy.

He always took a shower as soon as he returned from the massage. Today, after so extensive treatment received from Chirrut, he felt extra need to scrub himself of invisible layer of dried gel.

His skin felt raw under a skirmish of falling droplets, irritated and oversensitive. The hot steam clouded his mind like it filled the shower stall. His limbs were heavy from contentment. And the pain was gone. Baze was light-headed from all of it.

He rested his hands flat on the stall’s wall and leant in. The scalding streams trickled down his neck and back in intricate streams, weaving between raised nubs of scars. It felt almost like Chirrut was touching him again…

He reached back to brush the spot on the nape of his neck that had triggered the bolt. There was no shock when he pressed it, but it reminded him of long slim fingers gliding over his shoulders, arms, thighs.

He imagined the hands sliding from his shoulder blades to his flanks and to his chest, snaking around his torso. One of them toyed with his nipple and the other wandered down, down…

Long slim finger wrapping around his cock, moving with unhurried pulls. Chirrut could do wonders with his hands, he certainly would give the best handjobs in the world. He would pull and twist and squeeze until Baze saw the stars before his closed eyes…

He came with a groan. He propped his forehead against the wall, panting heavily. He was dazed with aftershock and oppressive hot vapor, and the conscience returned very slowly. He glanced down and saw the white streaks on the shower’s floor washed away to disappear in the drain. He was still holding his now sagging dick. Realizations hit him like a train and yanked him back into reality.

He’d just jerked off to the fantasy of his therapist.

 


	4. Fourth

Baze couldn’t look at himself in the mirror for the next few days. Of all the people, he had jerked off to Chirrut. Chirrut, who did everything to help him and make his life normal again. Who touched him only because it was what Baze paid him for. Made him feel good, because it was what he did for living. Who kept it all perfunctory so Baze was comfortable. He was professional. And Baze? Baze overstepped the therapist-patient relationship boundaries.

Bodhi asked him about his sour mood, worried it was caused by recurring pain. Baze reassured him it was something else. Bodhi’s eyes lightened up. He was intelligent and could fit the pieces together. Baze didn’t have much of private life; if not the pain, it must have been something about the therapist, but Bodhi didn’t pry further.

Even a week later Baze felt guilty as he hesitantly walked into office’s lobby. Instead of Jyn at the reception desk sat her boyfriend, Cassian. The sight of him disturbed Baze. Young man’s scrutinizing stare seemed to see right through Baze, like he knew about everything - that Baze had defiled Cassian’s superior.

‘Jyn’s not here today?’ Baze asked friendly, keeping his voice steady despite the guilt chewing at his stomach.

‘She’s ill’ Cassian explained. His dark eyes bore a hole in Baze. ‘You may come in and prep yourself.’

For the first time Baze was unsure about taking his clothes off. He looked at the towel, wondering if he should have use it. There was no point in it. Chirrut couldn’t see him either.

He lingered, staring at the towel when the sudden sound of opening door made him jump.

‘Hello Baze! Are you ready?’ Chirrut welcomed his patient with usual toothy grin.

‘Y-yeah. Give me a second to lie down’ Baze muttered.

He positioned himself on the table and hid his face in folded forearms, listening to the clatter of therapist’s preparation. He’d better not look at Chirrut and his gorgeous features.

Fingers found his shoulders and the memories of previous session ignited Baze’s skin. A hot shiver ran along his spine and radiated to the rest of his body. Back’s muscles constricted reflexively under the scrupulous attention.  

‘You’re tense today’ Chirrut made an observation. ‘Is everything alright? Are you in pain?’

‘No, everything’s fine’ Baze answered quickly.

‘Then please relax, Baze.’

Baze tried to loosen up, with mild effect. Every slide of Chirrut’s slicked hands left a searing trace that turned Baze’s muscles rigid. He was getting too hot and…

Oh goodness. He was getting hard.

He involuntarily bowed his back to hide the evidence of his disgrace.

Chirrut sighed and made a step back.

‘Baze. I can’t help you when you’re like that. I’ll leave you for you to relax for a few minutes and then we’ll resume’ he said calmly, without a sign of irritation.

Chirrut walked to the backroom, closing the door behind him.

Baze rolled on his back. He covered his mouth with forearm and stifled a groan. He’d just reached the peak of shame. He had never gotten aroused during any physical therapy session, no matter with whom had it been or what had they done.

He slowed his breathing and recalled certain images to cool himself down. It worked, and soon his swollen problem flagged. He continued until his muscles finally relaxed. He hoped it would last for the duration of the massage.

He called Chirrut back. The therapist came back immediately. His face was blank. Baze prayed Chirrut wasn't angry at him.

‘Are you ready?’ Chrrut asked, his voice as kind as usual. Relief flooded Baze.

Chirrut continued the massage. His moves still eased Baze's problem but somehow they had changed. Baze couldn't really grasp what had changed; perhaps the swipes were shorter, more practical, like Chirrut tried to limit the contact with patient's skin. Part of Baze was grateful for that. The other longed for Chirrut's touch, but he suppressed these thoughts. He couldn't let himself got hard again.

As always after the treatment Chirrut cleaned himself, wished Baze good evening and disappeared in the backroom. Baze really didn't intend to watch him walking away, but when he caught a glimpse of muscular shoulders rippling under the scrubs he couldn’t tear his gaze away.

Baze let out a heavy sigh. He definitely must have learnt how to contain himself around Chirrut. Otherwise effectiveness of the therapy would be in question.

 


	5. Fifth, part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has anyone recced this fic or something? I was showered with kudos after the latest chapter \;w;/
> 
>  
> 
> Long chapter ahead! Fasten Your seatbelts, things get rocky.

It was too good for too long, so it was just a matter of time when the illness would strike again. It always returned - after shorter or longer break, but recurred inevitably. Every time Baze thought he was prepared for its coming, and every time when it eventually struck, it turned out he wasn't.

This time it hit in the middle of the night, with nightmares so vivid and brutal and frightening Baze woke up shouting and crying. The muscles of his back were cramped and hurt so much he couldn’t move.

He groped for his phone on the nightstand. He sent Bodhi a text “Won’t come tomorrow”. Bodhi would inform their boss of Baze’s state and try to handle the work alone. If the work became overwhelming for Bodhi alone, he would call Baze and Baze would join him anyway.

Baze gritted his teeth, by accident also bit his tongue. He tumbled from the bed and dragged himself to the kitchen, leaned against the wall for support. His hand shook when he reached to the medicine drawer for the strongest drug he had. It completely took the pain away, but at the same time turned him into a zombie, so he didn’t take it except the worst days. Under its influence Baze slept through the attack that usually lasted for three-four days. Unfortunately, it didn’t cease the nightmares. Nothing could prevent the images from popping up inside Baze’s head for day and night.

Baze woke up again after noon, soaked in sticky sweat. He was feverish. The pain was back again, throbbing dully in his spine, and soon would bloom into full strength and make his life unbearable.

He took a shower, then forced himself to eat anything. The food tasted like a cardboard. Then he made a call he hoped would save his life.

‘Chirrut Îmwe’s office, how can I help you?’ he heard Cassians’s cold but polite voice.

‘It’s Baze Malbus. I need to see Chirrut today’ he croaked to the speaker. He didn’t even give a try to sound normal.

‘It’s Monday. You usually come on Thursdays.’

‘It’s an emergency’ his voice broke into a whine he hated. ‘Can you find anything?’

‘Wait a moment please.’

Baze heard he leafed through the calendar book. Then Cassian stood up, knocked on the door and the sounds diminished. Baze waited patiently, focusing on the white noise in the speaker instead of increasing pain and images flashing before his eyes.

Cassian picked up the phone again and announced, ‘Mr. Îmwe says he will stay longer and meet you after scheduled appointments. Be at seven.’

Baze had four hours to go. He couldn’t take another dose of the drug, he would oversleep the visit. He spent that time in bed, lethargic, wandering from one nightmarish vision to another.

Cassian got startled at the sight of him. Baze knew he didn’t look well, he had seen himself in the mirror. Bruised circles around his eyes and deepened wrinkles on his face gave him a look of a haunted man, but he couldn’t force himself to care for his appearance with the pain crushing his back in its forceful fist.

Chirrut was already waiting for him. Without a word of greeting Baze undressed and laid on the table. Chirrut proceeded to the massage without delay.

‘It’s very bad today. You’re all tense’ the therapist noted when he was spreading the gel over Baze’s back.

Baze only grunted in answer. He didn’t have energy to chat. He needed Chirrut to perform his miracles.

Respecting his silence, Chirrut didn’t speak again and worked at the earnest. It took him much longer than usual but finally the ache began to subside. Baze let out a grateful sigh. Chirrut continued to work until Baze said he’s as fine as he could be.

‘Is it the time when it’s worse?’ Chirrut asked softly. He was washing his hands and Baze was cooling off after the treatment.

Baze confirmed.

‘Does it happen often?’

‘Every two months, on average.’

Chirrut tutted compassionately. He spun on his heel to face Baze. He looked with unseeing eyes where he thought Baze was lying, which was slightly above his actual whereabouts. Baze noticed crinkles around his eyes and a frown of genuine worry on his forehead.

‘Pain isn’t the only problem?’ Chirrut’s words were more of a statement than a question.

‘Yes. How do you know?’

Chirrut’s lips curved in a gentle smile. ‘You’re not my first patient with PTSD. You shouldn't be alone now, Baze. Can someone stay with you until it wears off?’

Baze lived alone and didn't have many friends. When it was really bad he asked Bodhi to drop by and stay with him. But Bodhi had a date tonight. He had chirped about it the whole previous week. Baze wouldn't dare to interrupt his plans.

‘Not really.’

‘Then come to my place. We can watch a movie and order takeout. At least I'll be sure someone has taken proper care for you.’

Baze gaped at him with slightly open mouth. Only a few days ago his heart would jump out of his chest at the proposal. He might have even thought Chirrut was hitting on him. But right now he was in pain and too exhausted to have any improper thought about being invited to Chirrut’s house. In fact he wasn’t able to express how much he appreciated the invitation. The last thing he wanted was sitting at home alone, engulfed by his horrors.

‘I don't want to be a trouble for anyone…’ Baze said out of politeness, hoping Chirrut would defy. With mind's eye he saw Chirrut with a beautiful woman and a bunch of kids dining together at Îmwe's household.   

‘You won't be. I'm single and don't have any plans for tonight' Chirrut reassured. Baze’s heart fluttered.

‘But you’re my therapist. Isn't it against your ethics?’

‘As your therapist I'm concerned about your wellbeing. But I ask you as a friend. I don’t see a problem here, but if you’re conflicted I won’t insist.’

Baze grunted. A small voice in the back of his head still whispered it wasn’t a good idea. Apart from it, he found only benefits in Chirrut’s idea.

‘Alright' he said finally.

‘I was starting to think you’re afraid to come to blind man's place' Chirrut grinned. ‘Get dressed and I'll change myself.’

Chirrut walked to the backroom. Baze got himself ready before the therapist came back to the office. He wore a plain dark t-shirt, jeans pants and jacket. The golden pendant shone on his chest. A bag hanged from his shoulder and he held a white walking stick.

‘Ready?’ Chirrut asked, full of childish anticipation.

Cassian wasn't in the reception. Chirrut used a key to open the outer door and locked it again after they stepped out on the street.

‘I live about twenty minutes away on foot. Is it a problem for you? Or do you have a car?’ Chirrut asked.

‘I’m fine with walking. I don’t have a car’ Baze replied.

‘Really? I though everyone has a car these days. Well, everyone but me.’

‘I have a driving license, but I don’t drive. The meds, pain attacks… I better not drive’ Baze explained.

The therapist nodded thoughtfully. ‘It’s reasonable.’

Chirrut led them through the paved streets. Baze marveled at how fearlessly Chirrut strolled at moderate pace, sweeping his stick before himself. He probably walked the route every day for weeks and months, maybe even years, and he had memorized it well, but that fact didn’t stop Baze from admiring the therapist. Baze didn’t talk, not sure if speaking wouldn’t distract Chirrut.

Baze hesitantly entered Chirrut’s flat. From the hallway he saw a spacious living room with a kitchen annex. In the center was a huge couch, by the walls stood bookshelves and a chest of drawers. The rest of the room was empty, leaving plenty of space to maneuver. Further in the hallway were two closed doors.

Baze stood still, not sure what to do next. Chirrut shed his jacket and shoes and gracefully weaved toward the closed door to disappear inside the one of the rooms.

‘Make yourself at home, Baze!’ he shouted.

Baze cautiously stepped into the living room and glanced around. He noted books on shelves had titles embossed with Braille letters. He swiped a finger over the raised dots on book’s spine, wondering what Chirrut liked to read.  

A glint caught his eye. He turned and saw couple of framed photos on the top of the drawer. The paper was punctured so that the nicks reflected shapes printed on the paper. In the photo in the middle young Chirrut was hugging Asian woman and girl, grinning widely. Other pictures showed Chirrut in a white robe was performing various martial arts’ poses.  

Chirrut came into the room with a phone in his hand.

‘What would you like to eat? Pizza? Chinese?’ he asked. Baze was struck how casually it sounded, like Baze was visiting him for the hundredth time, not the first.

He shrugged. ‘Just order anything.’

Chirrut instructed phone’s AI to call the restaurant and ordered the food.

‘Do you mind if I take a shower?’ Baze asked shyly.

‘Not at all! I told you to make yourself at home!’

Chirrut showed him the bathroom and gave him a fluffy towel. Baze scrubbed himself as short as possible but couldn’t help glancing around at the same time. The light flickered at first, turned on for the first time in a while. There was no mirror. Every bottle was labeled in Braille. All those small things kept reminding him that no matter how capable Chirrut seemed to be, he remained impaired.

Baze was wiping his body dry when he heard a doorbell and a short chatter. Once he put his clothes back on he went to the living room and saw Chirrut arranging numerous boxes of rice and Asian dishes on the coffee table.

‘What do you want to drink? I have some beer in the fridge’ Chirrut said, not even turning to Baze.

‘No, thanks, I mustn’t drink alcohol. Meds’ Baze explained.

Chirrut hummed. ‘How about tea then?’

‘Tea’s fine, as long it’s not Tarine.’

Chirrut giggled. ‘What’s wrong with Tarine? Don’t worry, I have other kinds of tea too.’

The blind man stepped to kitchenette and busied himself with preparing the brew. Baze gingerly sat at the end of the couch. He dipped in worn but comfortable cushion. He looked at the photos again.

‘I’d never guess you practiced martial arts’ he risked to say.

To Baze’s surprise Chirrut laughed cheerfully.

‘You don’t suspect a blind man to fight, do you? My mother had a zama-shiwo school. She taught me and my sister. At the time, I was her best student. She expected me to take over the school one day, but then I lost my sight and I couldn’t take care of her heritage.’ His voice turned lower and softer. ‘Mother was disappointed. She never blamed me, because it wasn’t my fault I turned blind, but I knew it. I’m the firstborn and the only son, the rightful heir, and so forth. Fortunately, my sister is just as good at zama-shiwo as I used to be and she took my place.’

With two steaming cups in his hands Chirrut walked to the table and set them between the boxes. Baze was astounded how efficiently he moved around the flat. He explained himself that Chirrut was used to flat’s layout, but it didn’t diminish his awe.

‘I never heard of zama-shiwo’ Baze admitted.

‘It’s a little known art. It was created by warriors of the ancient order of Guardians of the Whills.’ He pulled out the pendant. ‘That was their emblem.’

Chirrut mindlessly traced the shape of the pendant, then tucked it back under the shirt and changed the topic.

‘I don’t have much movies. They’re mostly documentaries, with special audio commentary for blind people. I don’t know if it’s to your liking…’

‘It’s okay. I’m happy with whatever you choose’ Baze answered quickly. ‘It’s you who invited me. I have no right to be picky.’

‘I don’t want to pick anything that might be potentially triggering, Baze’ the therapist said, flustered. Baze blushed at the thought Chirrut was so concerned about him.

‘Documentary is a great idea, honestly.’

Chirrut read the title on the box on the top of boxes’ stack beside the TV. ‘Butterflies?’

Baze chuckled. ‘Alright.’

Chirrut put the disc in the player and threw himself on the couch.

‘Now, what looks the most tasty?’ he asked with a toothy grin.

‘You don’t know what you ordered?’

‘I know. But I want to know your opinion.’

Baze picked the box of flavoured pork slices, sniffed it and passed to Chirrut. ‘That one looks pretty good.’

They feasted on plentiful dishes and chattered, the movie completely forgotten. Chirrut spoke about the Guardians and zama-shiwo, and Baze told him about his occupation, Bodhi, and even the annoying female worker from the office on the third floor Baze had nicknamed “Owl”, whose computer crashed at least once a week. They joked and laughed like a couple of old friends.

Chirrut didn’t ask any question. He listened to Baze’s words and spoke when Baze didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t mention the illness or visions, just did his best to occupy Baze’s mind.

Baze observed the therapist, his body folded in cross-legged position, head cocked toward the other man and unfocused milky eyes. The warmth spread in his chest, but it was completely different from what he felt for Chirrut just days ago. The physical attraction dissipated like a smoke in the wind and only unspoken gratitude filled Baze’s heart right now. Chirrut had no idea how much he was doing for Baze. One day, when the attack ended, Baze would explain it to the therapist and reciprocate.

When they finished the meal they stopped talking as well. Chirrut tilted his head back, closed his eyes and with a gentle smile listened to the documentary. Baze watched the movie, but quickly followed Chirrut and shut his eyes too. Thanks to highly detailed commentary he could see the movie with mind’s eye as clearly as he watched it on the screen. The vibrant images of colorful butterflies easily pushed back the horrors plaguing him for hours.

Only when the credits rolled on the screen Baze cracked his eyes open and glanced at clock on the phone’s screen. It was late, already past the hour the last bus home had left.

‘I’ve overstayed. I have to call a taxi…’ Baze muttered.

Chirrut shuddered like he was ripped from a slumber or a trance. He opened his pale blue eyes and sat straight.

‘You can stay here for a night’ he offered. There was a note in his voice Baze interpreted as hopeful, but immediately scolded himself for wishful thinking.

‘Chirrut, I don’t want to strain your hospitality…’

‘It’s no trouble at all. Unless you need to get home quickly, to take your drugs or any other reason?’

‘No, I take meds once a day in the morning.’

‘Then I don’t see any problem’ Chirrut grinned. ‘I have a spare toothbrush.’

Baze bit his tongue before he asked how Chirrut knew he was thinking about a toothbrush. He groaned and rubbed his bearded chin.

‘Chirrut, it’s too much. You’ve already helped me so much.’

Chirrut reached to the side and when he found Baze’s shoulder gave it a friendly pat.

‘And I’m not done with helping you yet’ he said softly. ‘I get the impression you’re bigger than me, but I should have some old t-shirts that will fit you.’

‘I sleep in underwear. If you don’t mind it’

Chirrut rumbled with laughter. ‘How could I? I’m blind!’

He leaped on his feet and marched to the hallway. He returned after a couple of minutes.

‘I changed the bed sheets for you’ he announced.

‘Your couch is perfectly fine…’ Baze stammered but was vigorously interrupted.

‘Your back is hurt, you’re in no state to sleep on the couch!’ Chirrut take a deep breath and added more quietly, ‘Don’t feel sorry about it. I don’t sleep much at night anyway.’

Baze opened his mouth but shut it back when he realized he had no arguments and with heavy sigh agreed.

The blind man took Baze to the last room Baze hadn’t been yet that turned out to be a bedroom. It was small and sparsely furnished. Above the bed was a single window that let in a soft glow of streetlamps.

‘Wait, you need a light. The switch supposes to be somewhere here…’ Chirrut muttered and patted the wall by the doorframe. The switch was on the opposite side of the door. Baze turned it on with a silent click.

‘Ah, you were quicker. Sorry, I’ve never used it before.’

‘Nothing to be sorry about’ Baze chuckled and said seriously, ‘Chirrut. Thank you.’

Chirrut smiled warmly.

‘No problem, Baze. Rest well.’

The therapist retreated, leaving Baze alone in the bedroom.


	6. Fifth, part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to everyone who leaves comments. Guys, you have no idea how much it means to me.
> 
>  
> 
> I don't know if I make it on time with next chapter. Sorry in advance if I don't.

His mouth was full of grit. The half of his face he had hit the ground with hurt and throbbed. His back was numb, he felt an odd wet warmth spreading over it. He couldn’t move. Someone shouted, but the voice was distant, distorted. Above him bullets wheezed like Death’s ominous whisper…

‘Baze? Are you alright?’

A muffled voice jerked Baze awake from the nightmare. He sat up sharply and glanced around, at first panicked by a strange surroundings, but he quickly remembered where he was. Chirrut’s bedroom looked different now, bathed in pale morning sunlight, but the sight of it gave Baze an odd comfort.

The therapist stood in the hall. He knocked lightly in the door and asked worried.

‘Yeah, I’m fine’ Baze called back and heard Chirrut walking away. He looked at the clock on the phone’s screen. It was early, but he would already catch the bus home. He would soon need to take the meds. The pain was already lurking around the corner, waiting for when the drugs stopped working.

He refreshed himself, dressed up and cautiously stepped to the living room. Chirrut was sitting by kitchenette’s island with one earphone in his ear, completely absorbed by whatever he was listening to on his phone.

‘Hello’ Baze greeted him quietly. His voice was still a bit raspy, but firmer than the previous day.

Chirrut pulled out the earphone and gave his guest a warm smile.

‘Good morning. Did I wake you up? I heard you tossing in bed, I thought something’s wrong…’

‘No, it was… Just a nightmare’ Baze muttered. He sat on the other side of the island.

‘How are you Baze?’

‘Good, I think.’

‘The pain?’

‘Still stronger than usual, but it will be bearable when I take meds.’

‘But another massage will do?’ Chirrut asked suggestively.

That ignited a small spark that darted along Baze’s spine. ‘Probably’ he replied with fake indifference.

‘And the… other symptoms?’

The image of the battlefield flashed again before Baze’s eyes. He winced reflexively.

‘Still the same.’

‘Do you want us to spend this evening together too?’

Baze felt better than on the other day and his thinking was less sluggish. What he had ignored yesterday, now made him suspicious. He searched for hidden reasons behind the offer. That Chirrut had enjoyed the evening with him. That he wanted to repeat it. That _maybe_ Chirrut was growing fond of him…

Baze brought himself down to earth. Chirrut was only being supportive. He was concerned with patient’s health. If spending the time together helped Baze, Chirrut was ready to do it again.

‘It’s very generous of you. Let me make it up to you and cook a dinner tonight’ Baze replied finally. He saw a nervous frown eased from Chirrut’s face, making space for a serene smile.

‘That’s so kind of you. As far as I remember, my schedule for today is already full, so drop to the office at seven again.’

‘Okay. Do you have any preferences? Likes, dislikes? Allergies?’

Chirrut smirked mysteriously. ‘Just surprise me. For now, what do you want for breakfast? I was thinking about making toasts.’

Baze shook his head. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t stay. I must take the meds on empty stomach.’

Chirrut’s mood visibly dropped. Baze felt sorry about making him sad but he had no choice. Before long the pain, currently dulled by mildly working painkillers, would return, and it was something he didn’t want _very_ much.

Chirrut’s hand wandered across the island’s top and when it found Baze’s fingers squeezed them gently.

‘Then see you in the evening, Baze.’

*          *

After he returned home, took the meds and changed clothes, Baze went to the company. Bodhi was shocked to see him at all, and certainly didn’t expect to see his colleague in relatively good condition.

‘I thought you will be off for the rest of week’ Bodhi stammered.

‘Have I mentioned my current therapist is a miracle worker?’ Baze grinned.

Bodhi watched him suspiciously for the next hour until he seemed finally convinced that Baze was able to work normally, and took his gaze away from his friend.

After the work Baze headed to a grocery store for ingredients. He had pondered on what to prepare for the whole day. He had eventually decided on the very first dish that had come to his mind. He hoped Chirrut would like it.

With bags full of groceries Baze walked in the office’s lobby. Cassian cocked his brow at the sight of him but didn’t say a word. Baze was sure for some reason Cassian didn’t like him, but didn’t really care for it. He waited for a while for previous patient to leave, thankful he hadn’t bought anything requiring keeping in fridge.

For the entire session a small smile played on Chirrut’s smile. Baze wondered what had made him so happy, but didn’t have a courage to ask. On the way to Chirrut’s home they chatted about how had been their day like they had known each other for ages.  

Baze took a quick shower and later the therapist showed him around his kitchen. Baze immediately got to work and Chirut took a seat by the island, with an earphone on and listening do phone’s AI. There was no awkwardness in the silence hanging between them, actually quite an opposite - it was weirdly soothing. It all felt so bizarrely domestic.

The preparation of the dough and then the filling kept Baze’s unsettled mind occupied. The noises of kneading, cutting and frying filled the room. From time to time Chirrut raised his unseeing stare at the other man with a joyous smile, like he was delighted that Baze took a reign over his kitchen.

‘It smells so good I’m worried that Jyn and Cas will come and eat it all’ Chirrut said amused.

‘Do they live close?’ Baze asked baffled.

Chirrut jutted his thumb toward the ceiling.

‘A floor above. That’s how we met. I accidentally got their mail, and somehow we have befriended. They help me a lot, so when Jyn mentioned she was looking for a part-time work I offered her a job.’ He pulled out the earphone with a sigh. ‘I’m capable of running the office on my own, but there are certain matters… You understand, that need visual surveillance. I need someone trusted to check on them.’

‘You cope very well’ Baze admitted with plain awe.

‘Thank you. It’s just years of practice. You should see me at the beginnings. I walked into walls regularly.’

Baze couldn’t help but chuckled at the vision of young Chirrut he had seen on the photos bumping into walls.

‘How old were you when you lost sight?’ he asked gently.

‘Fourteen. It was an illness, diagnosed too late to save my eyes. Mother was so furious when it turned out doctors could have helped me if they figured it out earlier. I wasn’t even angry, perhaps because I was too terrified with inevitable blindness…’

His voice wavered. Baze saw he had awoken unpleasant memories and didn’t ask further. Instead he focused on finishing the dish. When he was finally satisfied with its presentation – it didn’t matter to him that Chirrut wouldn’t judge it – he served the plates with pride.

‘So’ Chirrut leaned in and smelled the dish. ‘What’s before me?’

‘Baozi, my mother’s recipe. There are four, one in every corner of the plate. Each has a different type of filling.’

Chirrut mouthed a silent ‘wow’. His fingers found the first bun and stuffed it into his mouth. He chewed slowly, and closed his eyes with content face.

‘Oh my goodness. It tastes exactly like my grandmother’s. I love it. You’re an amazing cook’ he said after he swallowed. ‘I can feel you put your heart in it.’

Baze blushed furiously. He liked cooking but hardly had a chance to cook for anyone. Mother’s baozi were particularly important to him, and he was thrilled that Chirrut approved it.

‘It’s my favourite dish. And I thought it’ll easy for you to eat’ he stammered.

‘How clever of you.’ Chirrut bit on next bun. ‘You should be a chef. Then why IT?’

Baze shrugged.

‘I’ve always been good with computers. IT offers prospects and decent salary. I had a scholarship in a military school, then I stayed in the army because they paid well. And later, when nothing kept me in the country any longer, I went on a mission, and almost returned in a body bag…’

Chirrut’s anticipation was almost palpable, but Baze wasn’t ready to share the details with him yet. Maybe tomorrow.

‘And you? Why physical therapy?’ he changed the topic.

‘Experience. While I was training zama-shiwo I was often sore after trainings, sometimes pulled a muscle. I’ve learnt to treat myself. Later it turned out it works just as good with other people, so I decided to pursue the career as a massage therapist.’

‘That was a good choice. You have a talent for it.’

Chirrut gave Baze a warm smile in reply.

‘Mother disapproved it at first. She was displeased to see me treating my friends and her students as well. And when she caught me kissing with one of that boys in the changing room…’

In a fracture of second Chirrut’s face twisted in fear. He clasped both hands over his mouth, his eyes round like a pair of coins.

‘What? Has she punished you?’ Baze asked confused, not quite understanding therapist’s reactions.

‘Y-you don’t mind me being gay?’ Chirrut whispered with shaking voice.

Baze blushed scarlet red. Not for the first time he was happy the other man couldn’t see him. He forced himself to reply calmly, ‘Not at all.’

Chirrut exhaled relieved and let his hands fall on his lap. ‘Thank goodness. I’m so afraid my male patients will resign from my service when they discover my preferences. I’m a professional. I treat my patients as best as I can, no matter of their gender.’

Therapist’s attention turned back to baozi. He remained unaware of turmoil he had incited in Baze’s heart.

They finished the meal and Baze, despite Chirrut’s loud disagreement, washed the dishes. Chirrut stood beside him leaned against the counter with half-closed eyes.

‘Baze’ Chirrut started when Baze finished the washing. ‘Can I look at you? I mean- touch your face so I can know how you look?’

A towel fell out of Baze’s hands and silently dropped on the floor.

‘Baze?’

‘Y-yeah, you just surprised me…’

‘You don’t have to agree.’

‘It’s fine, you can look at me.’

Baze gently grabbed Chirrut’s wrists and led his palms to his cheeks.

‘Oh, you’re tall. And you have a beard!’ Chirrut made a remark, partially amazed, partially amused. His smooth fingertips traced Baze’s eyes, brows, cheekbones, wandered to loose hair spilling over his shoulders. ‘And your hair is really that long!’

Chirrut stroke his mane in such a careful, tender manner Baze was allured. Before he even realized what he was doing he was leaning in to capture these full pink lips.

Chirrut made a small noise of surprise, yet he pressed forward and cocked his head to get a better angle. Their lips slotted perfectly like they were made for each other. Chirrut tasted of ginger and a dozen of other spices Baze had added to the filling.

It felt like the most beautiful dream, except it wasn’t. And when Baze’s dizzy mind comprehend what they were doing, it turned into a nightmare.

He pushed Chirrut back and leaped across the flat toward the door, grabbing his jacket in his wake.

‘Baze?!’

Therapist’s confused shout was cut off by slamming door.  

 

 

 


	7. Fifth, part three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, almost on time. Have the longest chapter of the fic. Feels and smut (finally lol). In case, it starts when Baze pulls Chirrut to the bed.

Baze dashed out of the block like he was chased, even though he was certain Chirrut wasn’t following him. He felt sick. His heart was racing wildly and his back pulsated with warning from the strain. He turned around but saw no one.

Baze rushed away in general direction of his own house. A few blocks away he found a taxi stand and took a ride home. He went straight to bed, but the sleep didn’t come for long.

The guilt still burnt in his chest when the alarm clock ripped him from shallow slumber in the morning. What was worse, the ache was there again, as strong as on Monday. Baze couldn’t take another day off and kill it with meds. Gritting his teeth, he dragged himself to work.

An unknown number called him every hour for the whole day. Baze supposed he knew its owner, and so he was too afraid to pick up. Was Chirrut upset with the kiss? What if he wanted to tell Baze to never come to his office again, while Baze’s back screamed in pain? Baze was too afraid to find out and didn’t answer any call.

Thursday was even worse. Baze cried and groaned into a pillow for the most of night. He barely got out of bed at dawn. His hands were shaking and he had problems with typing. Bodhi tried to convince Baze to go home every quarter minutes, but they both knew it was impossible with a huge pile of tasks they had to deal with. Baze was distracted by the muscles-cramping pain and grim memories, and again and again his thoughts wandered off to the tempting vision of his bed and the strongest painkiller awaiting in his flat.

His musings were interrupted by a phone call. Baze glanced at the screen and saw not the probably-Chirrut’s-number but the number of therapist’s office.

‘Good morning Mr. Malbus’ Baze was relieved to hear Jyn. ‘I call to make sure you’re coming today for your usual appointment?’

Baze felt a blush creeping up his cheeks. Due to what happened in past days, he had completely forgotten about Thursday’s visit.

He was torn between fear of facing Chirrut and urge to alleviate the pain. After a few beats of intense inner battle the latter reason won.

‘Yeah, I’ll be there.’

‘Okay. Have a nice day, sir.’

Jyn hung up and Baze’s stomach tightened. It was set then, he would meet Chirrut in the evening. A string of various scenarios ran through his head, more and less optimistic. He had hard time to focus on the job; at least a whirl of contradictory thoughts pushed back the nightmares.

His legs felt boneless when Baze entered office’s lobby. Jyn looked worried by his look and uneven gait. She raised from her chair, ready to assist him.

‘It’s okay’ Baze muttered and waved his hand. With how much he weighted, her help would be futile. He limped to the free seat and dropped heavily on it.

Jyn watched him cautiously. Baze didn’t know if she was disturbed by his state or had Chirrut told her about what had happened between them. She didn’t say anything so Baze could only guess. But he was happy Jyn was back in her place instead of Cassian and his judging stare.

A patient left soon after and Baze hesitantly walked into the office. Chirrut was rubbing disinfectant in his hands, leaned back against the backroom door. He was scowling, his lips pursed tight and the blind stare fixed at the floor.

‘Hello’ Baze mumbled for greeting.

Chirrut twitched and turned his head away from Baze.

‘Hello Mr. Malbus. Please get yourself ready’ he said coldly.

‘Chirrut, I…’

‘No’ the therapist cut him off. ‘You’re my patient now. If you want to say anything please do it later.’

Baze went quiet and obediently undressed. For the whole session Chirrut was silent and sullen, yet his emotions didn’t affect the quality of his performance – the massage was just as good as always. But even Chirrut couldn’t do much about pain fueled by stress and anxiety. When he ended the treatment, Baze hardly felt any difference.

Baze found a courage to speak again only when the therapist stepped away from the table to clean himself.

‘When do you finish?’ he asked shyly.

Chirut made a small huff.

‘Actually, right now. The next patient called off her visit’ he muttered.

‘So, can we… Meet for a talk?’

Therapist’s lips curved into a sneer. But beneath the anger, plain on his face, Baze noticed something else – sadness. It was noticeable in dropped corners of his mouth and slouched shoulders.

‘Fine. I’ll listen to whatever you want to tell me’ Chirrut replied indifferently.

‘Where do you want to go?’

‘I’m not in the mood for going anywhere out. Let’s come to my place.’

Stammering, Baze agreed with his idea. He didn’t dare to talk while they were walking to Chirrut’s house. They moved slower than normal, Baze’s steps stiff and unsteady and Chirrut matching his pace.

‘Do you want something to drink?’ Chirrut broke an awkward silence when they entered his flat.

Baze grunted in affirmative, even though he was almost certain he would get a cup of Tarine.

The small flat filled with quiet clatter and whiz of heating water. Baze took a seat by the island, shyly watching the therapist. When the brew was ready Chirrut set two steaming cups on the countertop and sat facing Baze.

He said coldly, ‘Now please, enlighten me why after spending a nice evening together you kissed me and then ran away? You realized it’s fun but you don’t have time for a blind man? Am I too crippled for you?’

Chirrut’s voice broke. He covered his face with both hands and let out an exasperated exhale. One hand dropped down on his lap and the other combed through short black hair.

‘Please, tell me’ he repeated with wavering voice.

Baze’s guts clenched at the sight of therapist, purple semicircles under his eyes and hunched frame. He knew he had hurt him. He owed Chirrut the truth. He crossed his arms over his chest and took in a shaky breath.

‘You may think that while I was in the army, being an IT tech, I was on the computer in the base for the whole time. It’s not exactly like that. I took part in exercises and drills. From time to time I left the base, for example when we found a terrorists’ hideout with computers that required assessment, like on that particular day. We were driving to the distant spot through wasteland when we were assaulted. I rushed to the counterattack along other my teammates. I had a gun and I knew well how to use it. We formed the usual formation and I was on far flank, away from the attackers; as a part of tech troops I never was on the front line. We were moving forward toward the assaulters, and suddenly behind us a land mine went off.’

Upset lines of Chirrut’s face had smoothed. He was now listening with blank face.

‘I was the only survivor of my team. I had the first surgery in the base. Second in hospital in Kabul. Third and fourth in military clinic back in the country. Doctors have removed ever piece of shrapnel that was stuck in my back and patched up muscles and nerves, but the pain hasn’t gone. I’ve consulted over ten neurologists and have been in three clinics specialized in treating pain. I’ve tried every available painkiller, in different combinations with each other and meds for PTSD, with mere effect. I’ve visited dozens of physical therapists, tried yoga, calisthenics, sports, different kinds of massage, everything I’ve heard helped for chronic pain. I’ve even got a contact to drug dealer. And yet, for two years none of it has helped.’  

Baze glanced up. Chirrut was still like a statue, with hands wrapped around the hot cup, unseeing gaze bleary.  

‘And then I bumped into you. Suddenly the pain I thought would never leave, is gone. I’ve forgotten how it is to be free of it, and you can take it away. I can live normally again.’

Baze paused again and took a sip. To his surprise it wasn’t Tarine, but sweet, strong tea with slight lemon tinge.

‘I like you, Chirrut’ he resumed quietly. ‘I like you very much. In any other situation I’d love to get to know you. But I can’t- I can’t lose you as a therapist. Things go differently in relationships. If we fight, then split up in anger… I can’t lose your service. Not when it’s the only way to alleviate my ache.’

His voice was on the verge of breaking so he stopped talking and turned his attention back to the drink.

‘You like me’ Chirrut echoed with hollow voice.

‘Yes. I like you. Very much’ Baze muttered, thinking about that one time in the shower.

Chirrut sighed. His shoulders slouched as he finally relaxed and leaned back against the backrest. His hand once again flew up to stroke his hair in nervous gesture.

‘Fuck. You like me. What a coincidence’ he repeated with weak voice. He exhaled and went on, ‘When you came to my office for the first time, you were just another patient. But for some reason- I don’t know, was it your voice, or a spark… Anyway, I was- I was attracted to you. Fuck, I’ve never felt it to any other patient! I’m a professional! I’d never date my patient!’

He sighed once more and sipped at the tea.  

‘I would love to ask you out too, but… You came to me, troubled by pain, seeking for relief I am luckily able to give you. I couldn’t let my emotions influence my service. I ordered myself to treat you like any other patient, certain that the attraction to you would soon fade. Sensing how you get better and relax during session is was enough reward for me.

And then, on Monday, you were in terrible state, hurting, plagued by your past. I wanted to help you as much as I could, so I invited you. I was concerned for you and, honestly, because I wanted to know you more. And that evening only drew me closer to you. I even got an impression you’re interested in me too. So, can you now imagine, how I felt when you kissed me so hot and then ran away?’

Baze’s pulse beat so loudly in his ears he barely heard the other man. Chirrut was speaking slowly, but it all happened too fast for him to proceed.

Chirrut shared his feelings. He had said he was _attracted_ to Baze.

Before Baze replied, Chirrut added lowly, ‘How I treat you as my patient would never change. Even if we fight or split up. But I understand your point of view. I can’t blame you that you want to get rid of pain and make your life normal. I wish I could do so. I will forget about everything. You’re welcome to come to my office any time you need my attention.’

‘Thank you.’

Baze looked at Chirrut’s fingers curled around the cup. He wanted to caress and kiss the knuckles that made him feel so good. For his sake, Chirrut stifled his feelings, at cost of his own happiness. The sorrow written on his face tore Baze’s heart to pieces.

The air between them was unbearably tense. The two men drank their teas in silence, wrapped in their own thoughts. Baze longed to run away from under the blind scrutiny, away from grief Chirrut wasn’t able to suppress and radiated with it.

He stood up and immediately propped himself against the countertop with a grunt. A bolt of pain struck right through his spine, paralyzing his limbs.

‘What’s wrong?’ Chirrut asked worried.

‘My back. Still hurt like hell.’

Chirrut leapt on his feet and at once was beside Baze. A palm rested between Baze’s shoulder blades.

‘Can you walk?’

Baze made a step and groaned at another shot of ache as he shifted his weight. He gritted his teeth to not bit his tongue or shout.

The hand slid down to wrap around his middle for assistance.

Chirrut said, ‘I’ll try to help you. We will go to the bedroom, you will take off your shirt and lie on the bed, okay?’

Baze hesitated to lean against Chirrut, but the man was sturdier than he looked. With no problem he supported Baze and helped him to walk. A blind man guiding him – Baze would laugh, if not the excruciating pain.

Baze slumped on the bed. Chirrut sneaked out of the room and returned after a moment with a small bottle while Baze removed his clothes. With troubles Baze rolled on his stomach. The therapist stood beside the bed and briefly swiped his hands over Baze’s body to know his position. Baze groaned into the pillow at the lightest touch. Tears dripped down his face and sunk in the fabric of pillow. He doubted another massage would help him, but it was worth a shot.

‘It’s okay Baze, you’ll feel better soon’ Chirrut whispered tenderly. He squeezed the gel directly on Baze’s skin and smeared it all over.

Even before Chirrut started to work out his muscles Baze felt a weird warmth blooming on his skin and seeping into flesh and spine. Hands’ moves only increased the effect.

‘What’s this?’ he asked with a groan.

Chirrut replied, ‘Ah, the gel? It must be the warming one, I picked up the first bottle I found. I hope you’re not allergic to its ingredients. Does it hurt, or is it just hot?’

‘Just hot.’

Chirrut sped up the pace of rubs. One by one, Baze’s muscles finally relaxed under his touch and the pain subsided. Baze sighed, enjoying that he could inhale deeply again.

Chirrut didn’t stop working. Baze craned his neck to glance at the blind man bent over him, frowning and focused on his job. It was already past dusk and the lamppost on the street were alight, a yellow glow illuminating half of Chirrut’s face, casting deep shadows. The milky eyes shone.

Chirrut attending him in darkness, sudden ebb of pain, heat teasing his nerve endings – it all made Baze dizzy. A fire flowed in his veins, and Chirrut was the reason. Chirrut was a spark that set it all afire. Baze could no longer defy it.

He wrapped one arm around Chirrut’s neck and pulled him onto the bed. Chirrut’s surprised yelp was silenced by ardent kiss.

Chirrut’s hands rested at the back of Baze’s head and pulled him closer, their lips smashing together. Baze let out a guttural noise and pushed one hand under Chirrut’s t-shirt. Skin was smooth and coils of muscles hard under his palm, just like he had imagined them. Chirrut moaned and parted his lips wider. Baze hesitantly licked into his mouth and was rewarded with another moan. One of Chirrut’s legs hooked behind Baze’s thigh and yanked him closer. Chirrut smiled wryly when he felt a shape of Baze’s quickly hardening dick pressed to his hip.

Baze tugged at the hem of Chirrut’s t-shirt with a question. In answer Chirrut nodded frantically and busied himself with buckle of Baze’s trousers. Just a minute later they were just in their underwear, hands roaming over expanses of naked skin. Chirrut eagerly pawed at Baze’s chest, the part of him he hadn’t seen yet. Every swipe of his hands covered with remains of the warming gel was like a touch of fire. Baze growled and grabbed at the supple, perfect ass, cheeks fitting in his palms just right.

Chirrut’s hands crawled down across his belly. One of them sneaked into Baze’s briefs. Chirrut mouthed a silent “oh” when his fingers wrapped the hard shape of Baze’s erection.

‘Ain’t you a big boy’ the blind man purred.

Baze made an embarrassing weak noise. It was obvious Chirrut’s touch would be maddening, but what Baze had imagined was far from how it actually felt. Those clever fingers pulled lightly and Baze saw the stars before his eyes. If Chirrut continued any longer he would come just right now.

‘Fuck me’ Baze whispered to Chirrut’s lips.

The blind man pulled back. He gently cradled Baze’s face, thumb tracing the seam of his lips.

‘As you wish, Baze.’

He reached over Baze to the nightstand. He took out a bottle of clear liquid and groped again at the bottom of the drawer.

‘Fuck, were are those condoms when I need them…’ Chirrut muttered to himself. ‘I could swear there were a few packets…’

‘May I?’ Baze asked.

‘Nah, if they’re not here they must be somewhere else. Wait a sec.’

Chirrut hopped off the bed and disappeared in the hallway.

Baze flopped on his back, listening to his pulse beating loudly in his ears, throbbing in every piece of his body. A part of him tried to comprehend what’s happening but he kicked it into the darkest corner of his mind. Nothing mattered now but Chirrut, his perfect body and how alive he had made Baze.

He heard a muffled sound of victory and Chirrut emerged after a second.

‘Found two. I hope they aren’t expired’ he said with self-satisfied smirk. ‘How do you want it?’

‘I’m on my back now.’

Baze tugged off his briefs and Chirrut nestled between his thighs. The blind man laid his hands on Baze’s knees and moved them slowly up. He was getting familiar with Baze’s body, but, willingly or not, his touch was a torture, one Baze wanted to stop and prolong at the same time.  

Chirrut squeezed a decent amount of lube on his fingers and gently prodded at Baze’s entrance with one finger.

‘Gosh, you’re tight’ he noted.

‘It’s been a while’ Baze muttered in answer.

‘Heh, for me too. I hope my performance won’t be embarrassingly short.’

He chuckled nervously. Baze couldn’t help but joined him and they both laughed cheerfully. Chirrut leaned in to kiss him and added second finger, and soon after the third. Baze watched his half-closed eyes and mouth curved upward gleefully. Light danced on sculpted body and painted his skin golden.

The fingers found his prostate and Baze arched with a groan. Chirrut pulled back and wiped his hand on already stained sheets.

‘Do you need help with it?’ Baze asked when Chirrut picked up a condom.

‘No, I’ve got it.’

In one firm move Chirrut tore the packet and rolled the condom on his dick, then poured more lube on himself.

‘Are you ready Baze?’ he whispered gently.

Baze nudged him with heel. ‘More than ever. Get on with it.’

Chirrut lined himself up and very slowly pushed in.

Baze’s head fell back and he growled.

‘Is something wrong? Does it hurt? Or your back?’ Chirrut asked scared.

‘No, it’s great. Go on’ Baze replied, hazy.

It was definitely too long since he had been fucked. With how well-endowed he was, he was usually asked to top and he had never refused. In the army there was no opportunity for anything more than blow jobs, and later, when he struggling with pain, he was in no mood for a one-night stand.

But now, when the pain was gone, with Chirrut, everything was just right. Baze threw his arms around Chirrut and pulled him close. Chirrut hummed and rolled his hips in unhurried shallow thrusts. Baze couldn’t help but moaned into crook of his neck. He felt so full. So complete.

Quickly the thrust became faster and more erratic. With one final balls-deep push, Chirrut propped his head against Baze’s chest and came with low groan.

Baze kissed him on forehead and stroke the sweat-covered plain of his muscled back. Chirrut was panting and shivering, still floating in afterglow. Baze didn’t dare to interrupt him, even though his neglected cock was painfully hard and weeping.

After time Chirrut leaned back, conscious again. The miraculous fingers closed around Baze’s dick and with a few wonderful pulls he brought Baze to completion. Baze gasped, coming over fingers jerking him off through orgasm.

Sighing, Chirrut slumped on the bed beside him and Baze rolled on his side to face him. Words whirled in his head, incoherent, and he didn’t know how to voice them. He just leaned his head against Chirrut’s breastbone and clinged to the blind man. Fingers wove in his hair gently cradled his scalp.

In a beat he was asleep, listening to Chirrut’s heartbeat.

 

 

 


	8. Fifth, part four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for more smut

Baze abruptly jerked awake.

He blinked a few times. He had no idea what had woken him up, but his heart was fluttering wildly. He ordered his heart to slow down and focused on registering details of the surroundings, one by one, to calm his distraught mind.

He was alone in the bed. He was lying on his back under a soft blanket. He was naked, covered with stale film of perspiration he had sweated in the evening. White walls of the room were painted with bright sunlight - it was already morning, which meant he had slept the whole night through without a nightmare.

He felt no ache.

Baze flexed the muscles of his back. They answered with small prickle of pain, but it was far from what he had felt only a day before. He repeated it with same effect.

Very slowly, not quite believing his body, Baze raised himself to sitting, then stood up and wrapped himself in the blanket he had slept under. Although Chirrut wasn’t able to see him, Baze was filthy and felt an urge to cover up himself anyway.

The sight he found in the living room took him aback. Chirrut stood in the middle of the room, folded into elaborate poses, punching and kicking the air. His moves were swift and his footwork made no sound; Baze would never know he was practicing if he hadn’t witnessed it.

The blind man stopped sharply when he heard Baze incoming and turned to the newcomer, panting lightly.

‘Hello Baze. Did I wake you up?’ he asked, anxious.

‘No, no. I woke up on my own.’

‘I woke up some time ago and couldn’t sleep again, as usual, so I got up to not rouse you.’

Chirrut grabbed a towel hanging from sofa’s backrest and wiped droplets collected on his hairline. His soft training shirt was darkened with sweat on its back. Chirrut must have been exercising for quite some time.

‘I get that you don’t want breakfast, but how about a cup of coffee?’ the blind man flashed white teeth in a hopeful smile.

‘Alright. Just give a minute to refresh.’

When Baze returned from bathroom, clean and dressed, an overwhelming smell of fresh coffee filled the small flat. A cup of perfectly black drink awaited on the usual spot on island’s countertop. Baze took a sip and hummed with satisfaction. The coffee was just as strong as he liked it. Maybe Chirrut was really able to read minds.

‘Is something wrong?’ Chirrut asked, frowning and worried. He was sitting on the other side of the isle and drank a tea.

‘No, why?’

‘You don’t sit down. Are you in pain?’

Baze drew in as deep breath as he could. Again, his spine answered with a hint of pain, yet it was nothing comparing to the usual ache.

‘No, actually quite the opposite.’

Baze obliged and took a seat. Chirrut glanced down, his head cocked slightly so his ear was turned to Baze. His hand crept across the countertop and entwined with Baze’s fingers. His voice brimmed with concern. 

‘Baze, I sense you’re not fine. What is it?’

Baze exhaled shakily. Nothing escaped Chirrut’s notice. He squeezed the fingers back.

‘Is it about the evening? Didn’t you enjoy it?’ Chirrut went on with questions.

‘No!’ Baze denied immediately. He rubbed at his eyelids with a groan. ‘It was great, honestly. I hadn’t got such a nice time in a long time. But… Damn, it was exactly what we decided _not_ to do. We were supposed to put out that thing between us, and we only stoked it.’

‘Correction – _you_ pulled me to bed.’

Baze whined and buried his face in hands.

‘No need to remind me about that’ he mumbled. ‘I finally felt better, the pain has subsided, and… Fuck.’

He groaned and leaned in, elbows resting on the surface.

‘I couldn’t resist you. I’m attracted to you too.’

Chirrut whistled through is teeth and grinned wryly.

‘Now you’re talking.’

Baze looked up at him. ‘You don’t look concerned.’

‘Should I be? I told you, I’m professional. I can do it, be indifferent in the office and passionate in the evening’ Chirrut stated, calm and firm. ‘We’re adult men after all, aren’t we?’

A hundred of contrary thoughts whirled inside Baze’s head. He took a sip of coffee but the a good dose of caffeine didn’t clear his mind.

‘Baze’ Chirrut spoke, more serious now. He wasn’t smiling any longer. The blind stare was locked on other man’s face. ‘I want you to know one thing. I feel comfortable around you. It’s- it’s much. People tend to coddle me, thinking I’m unable to take care of myself. My previous partners in particular. But you… You give me the space I need. You’re ready to assist, but never impose yourself on me. It means to me a lot. There aren’t many people that treat me like that, and among them only you’re interested in me.’

Baze opened his mouth to reply when sudden buzzing of Baze’s phone startled both of them. Baze had left it on the nightstand. He rushed to the bedroom and picked up a call from Bodhi.

‘Baze, you don’t have to come today. I’ve come earlier and checked it, there’s not much to do, I can handle it alone, you can stay at home and take your meds-’ Bodhi sputtered a string of words.

‘It’s alright, Bodhi. I feel better today. I will come’ Baze reassured.

‘Baze, really, I can…’

‘No need to. I’ll come. Yesterday’s massage did its work.’

‘Oh, okay. I’m waiting for you then.’

Baze hang up. He realized he had absentmindedly returned to the living room.

‘Um, I have to leave soon to go to work. And we still haven’t figured out what are we’ he muttered, dropping on his seat.

Chirrut looked up, his gaze inquiring.

‘I am happy when I’m with you, and I gather you’re too. It’d be foolish to cast it away’ he said matter-of-factly.

Baze sighed. He was torn. He was undeniably drawn to Chirrut, and the feeling was mutual. He really wanted to be with Chirrut. But it was definitely wrong to sleep with the man he paid for touching him. Chirrut seemed to not get his point why Baze was so stubborn about dividing private life and the therapy.

Baze opened his mouth, then shut it up. He didn’t know how to say what he exactly had in mind. Chirrut was consuming his tea in silence, a frown on his face suggesting an intense thinking process.

‘I have an idea’ the blind man spoke at last. ‘For how long I’ve been treating you? Four weeks?’

Baze corrected, ‘Five.’

‘The standard course lasts for ten weeks, as I said. Let’s wait for another five weeks. You already feel better except for this worse time, aren’t you? It’s promising. I’m pretty sure by the end we’ll get rid of your problem. For the next five weeks we will be just patient and therapist, and later, when we finish the therapy, we can meet without your guilt trips.’

Baze went through his words once again. He must have admitted, it was indeed a good plan. It left an acceptable distance between them during the treatment.

‘And what if my pain doesn’t disappear by then?’ he nagged.

Chirrut burst with laughter. ‘Oh come on, have more faith in my skills! Anyway, what do you think of it?’

‘It’s good. Let’s do it.’

Corners of Chirrut’s mouth curved up in a gleeful smile.

‘Great. Now, set your cup down.’

Baze did so, before he asked, ‘Why?’

Chirrut put his cup down as well and circled the island to stop right before Baze. His blue eyes glinted when he cupped Baze’s face and leant in for a slow kiss.

‘Because if we are to going to be chaste for next weeks, at least give me something to remember’ he whispered, his hot lips sliding against Baze’s.

Chirrut climbed on Baze’s lap and pressed their bodies together. Rapidly growing bulge in his pants rubbed against Baze’s crotch.

‘Chirrut, I have to leave soon…’ Baze reminded the other man. He was cut off with another sloppy kiss.

‘It won’t be a marathon, Baze. You drive me so hot, I won’t last long’ Chirrut muttered lowly right to his ear, warm puff of his exhale tickling Baze’s skin.

Baze answered with a guttural noise, pushing his hips up, seeking for friction.

‘That’s the spirit’ Chirrut grinned and scraped his cheek against his beard.

Baze pushed him away, only to have enough space to stand up, and immediately caught Chirrut back in embrace. Chirrut willingly clinged to the other man and maneuvered him backwards to the bedroom, their mouths and chests never separating.

‘What do you want to do?’ Baze asked when Chirrut eagerly worked on buttons of his shirt.

‘I’d love to acquaint my ass with your cock’ Chirrut purred in reply. ‘Pick position in which your back won’t hurt and I’ll take care of rest.’

Sole vision of his dick sheathed in Chirrut made Baze dizzy.

‘Do you mind riding me?’

Chirrut showed his teeth in wide grin. ‘Not at all. Get on the bed.’

Baze clambered on the mattress with his back propped against the headboard. Immediately Chirrut straddled him, mouthing on every part of Baze’s face. They were both naked and their erections slid against each other, pressed between their bellies.

Baze gripped at perky asscheeks and squeezed. Chirrut groaned with approval and reached to the nightstand for essentials.

‘Let me do it’ Baze offered, and Chirrut willingly passed him the bottle. He was tight, but his body opened nicely to Baze’s careful attention.

Watching Chirrut writhing in pleasure when his fingers brushed his prostate, Baze was sure he wouldn’t last for long either. When Chirrut finally slid down his shaft, Baze saw stars. With a groan his head fell back and eyes shut. Fingertips traced his features, feather-light. Baze cracked his eyelids open to see Chirrut chuckling.

‘You feel amazing’ the blind man muttered.

Baze was about to reply, “You too”, but then Chirrut lifted his hips and slammed them down, and he forgot how to speak. All he could do was watching Chirrut heaving up and down, muscles of his legs and trim waist rippling beneath the golden skin glistening with sweat and pink cock bobbing.

Chirrut’s stamina seemed infinite, but his arousal was on the brink. Baze wrapped his fingers around his cock to help him. Few pulls later Chirrut bent in half and propped himself on Baze’s shoulders, staining their chests with come. Muscles spasming around his dick pushed Baze over the edge right behind him.

Baze wasn’t back in the reality yet when Chirrut lurched forward and sucked hard on skin of his neck. Baze jerked and Chirrut leaned back with sly grin.

‘Fuck, Chirrut, everyone’s going to see it!’ Baze exclaimed, rubbing at the sore spot. He could feel a red mark blooming on his skin in plain sight.

‘Good. People should know you promised yourself to me.’

Chirrut smooched the spot with apology. He slowly disconnected himself from Baze and lied beside him. Baze couldn’t help but roll on his side and pull Chirrut close. He already knew he would be late at work.


	9. Tenth

A smile lit up Jyn’s face when she saw Baze entering the lobby.

‘Hello Mr. Malbus.’

‘Hello’ Baze smiled back. After ten weeks Jyn had become someone close to family member to him, like a younger sister.

‘Wow, it feels like you come here for ages, sir. How long is it?’

‘Ten weeks. Today is my last appointment.’

Jyn tutted. ‘Pity. Mr. Îmwe looks happier since you’ve started the therapy. But don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re better now.’

Her eyes sparkled. Of course she knew. She looked smart, able to connect the facts together. Chirrut probably hadn’t said a word about their deal, she must have got to the truth on her own.

‘Mr. Îmwe is currently occupied, please wait for a moment’ the woman added.

Baze nodded and sat down. Jyn turned her attention back to a pile of papers and couple of highlighters on her desk. Her exam session was coming up. Baze made a mental note to wish her luck when he’d be leaving.

Past five weeks had passed like a blur to Baze. After he and Chirrut had finally talked out their problems, most of the tension had left his body. The pain and visions of battlefield had soon lessened back to normal. Thanks to regular massages the ache had gradually diminished. There had been days his back hadn’t hurt at all. Every week the lack of pain was longer. Chirrut was very satisfied with the results. 

Like they had decided, they didn’t met apart from massage sessions once a week. They didn’t spoken about matters unrelated to the treatment, though they often exchanged meaningful smiles, and most evenings they texted for hours. 

When patient left Baze waited for another five minutes and later walked into the office. Chirrut wasn’t in the room. Baze undressed and laid on the table. The therapist came short after.

‘Hello Mr. Malbus. How are you?’ he greeted the patient. 

‘I’m fine, thank you Mr. Îmwe. After the last time the pain was gone for whole weekend’ Baze announced proudly.

Chirrut gave him a wild smile in answer. 

‘Your cycle is almost finished, isn’t it?’

Baze smirked. ‘It’s the tenth massage.’

‘Oh, the last one then. Let’s not delay it any further then.’

Baze had wondered how he hadn’t gotten used to Chirut’s touch on the third visit. Now, the tenth time, therapist’s attention felt just as new and incredible as the first one. It must have been Chirrut’s talent, to ignite flameless fire on Baze’s skin and spread it to muscles and bones, burning down any trace of pain.  

They fell silent. They didn’t need to talk. They were comfortable with not talking to each other for long period of time. Baze often peeked up to steal a glance of Chirrut, of his handsome features and gentle smile.

Baze had almost drifted to sleep by the time Chirrut stepped back.

‘That’s it. We’re done.’

‘I always wonder how you know when the time’s up’ Baze muttered with slurry voice.

Chirrut chuckled and pointed at the wall. Above the row of cabinets hanged a plain clock.

‘It ticks every minute, and louder at the top of the hour.’

‘I can’t hear anything…’

When Baze focused, he noted a faintest ticking sound. He knew Chirrut had much better hearing than anyone, but it was unbelievable he was able to concentrate on treating a patient and listening to the clock at the same time.

Chirrut laughed once again and moved to the sink.

‘So, do you have any plans for evening Mr. Malbus?’

‘I’ve booked a table for two in a decent restaurant. I’m meeting with a man I like very much.’

Chirrut whistled through his teeth. ‘Do I know him?’

‘He’s very attractive massage therapist.’

‘Oh. Sounds great. And what after dinner?’

‘I hope we will end in my or his flat.’

‘He’s a lucky guy.’

Baze laughed shortly. ‘Indeed he is. I hope you’re free tonight?’

Chirrut giggled. ‘Of course I am! How could I miss the moment I officially stop being you therapist? Where do we meet?’

‘I will come get you at seven thirty. The restaurant isn’t far from your place, we will get there on foot.’

Chirrut turned. His full lips were tugged up into a giddy smile, so charming Baze was short from jumping off the table and sweeping Baze into crushing embrace to kiss this smile.

‘I’m so glad I’ve bought a box of condoms’ the blind man winked meaningfully.

A wave of heat washed over Baze, leaving him flushed hot.

‘See you in the evening Mr. Malbus’ he said, waved farewell and disappeared in the backroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there! Stay tuned for tomorrow's epilogue


	10. Epilogue

Whatever the dream had been, it suddenly transformed into image Baze didn’t want to see, but it was too late to stop it. Once more he was lying on his stomach on hard soil, clouds of dust rising and bullets flying all around him. He knew it was just a dream, but couldn’t wake from this nightmare. A whine left his lips.

And then a hand rested on his cheek, thumb caressing the skin, and immediately the vision dissipated into blessed darkness again. Baze sighed and leaned into the touch. Those wonderful hands had given him a lot – relief, pleasure, comfort. He smiled faintly when he felt a warm metal against his face. Chirrut hated that he must have taken off the ring to work. For those couple of hours a day it joined Guardian’s pendant on his neck, and for the rest of time the band was in its proper place on his finger. Thankfully Baze could wear his ring all day long and remind himself every time he looked at it that he and Chirrut had sworn to spend the rest of their lives together.

With still closed eyes Baze reached out and hugged Chirrut closer. It’s been now over three years since Chirrut had changed his life. He hoped they would stay together for the rest of their days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end! Thanks for reading, kudos and comments! I hope You enjoyed <3


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